Nina Brown will be on the WEEN Panel this Saturday 1p-4p at Clark! It's FREE & open to men & women, however you MUST register online at Weenonline.org! If you've ever wanted to get into the Entertainment Industry, 11 of the hardest...... working women will be giving you their personal insight! It's the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network panel!!
Eric Jerome Dickey will be at CNN Walden Books @ 12pm today and Barnes & Noble Buckhead @ 6pm tonight!! ----
Book Synopsis: International assassin Gideon spilled blood for the first time when he was seven years old, with a single shot to the head of a man who was attempting to kill the woman Gideon had known as his mother. The victim was none other than his own father, a man of unspeakable evil. This pivotal event shaped Gideon throughout his life, made him who he is, one of the fiercest, most feared hired guns in the world.
And one of the most hunted.
After nearly losing his life in Antigua during a mission that went terribly wrong, Gideon trusts no one. But when a former lover and grifter, Arizona, resurfaces in need of his skills, she reminds him he was indebted to a man who had once saved his life: the son of the legendary con-man Scamz. Gideon is forced to take on an assignment which will lead him to Argentina in pursuit of a briefcase containing one part of a larger puzzle. The "package" contains material that another group of assassins - the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - will kill to obtain and protect. One of the leaders of the Four Horsemen has a connection to Gideon that neither man is aware of -- a connection that will be exposed when they meet face-to-face and gun-to-gun. Each member of The Four Horsemen is a world-class killer, each with a dark and dangerous past, and nothing will stop that team of renegades from completing their mission.
As Gideon struggles to keep promises and uncover information about his past, he finds himself at the center of the ultimate double-cross and he is forced to do what he must to protect himself and those closest to him. Set amidst the exotic and vibrant streets of Miami and Buenos Aires, Resurrecting Midnight is an action-filled, pulse- pounding thriller from bestselling author Eric Jerome Dickey.
I'm on the panel, so if you've ever wanted to speak with me & it relates to the industry, THIS is your opportunity!!
The Panel Topic NetWERKing in The Music Business Tips on Making the most of your online and offline music network
Be There at 8pm Sharp to Catch This Amazing Panel!!
The Panelists A Few of The Best Professionals in Atlanta Mo Reiley - On Air Personality |95.5 The Beat JaWar - Author, Business Consultant, Internet Marketing Specialist Nina Brown - Producer, V-103 | Frank & Wanda Morning Show Laura Giles - Music Business Politics | Partner
********* Expecting 500+ Get Your Early-Bird Discount Ticket NOW!
Date: Early November 2007 Title: Visiting Tip: Confined, yet Fearless// A Reflection of Life
In life, God creates challenges to build our character, strengthen our core and test our faith.
During hard times, we instinctively ask "why?".
Why is God putting us thru such hard times and how long will it last?
In hard times, the weak become doubtful and their faith becomes transparent. However, the strong and faithful always survive because they know, hard times are only temporary. Its simply God's promise to us... as long as you believe.
It is very much our faith that ultimately gets us through life's toughest times. While our spirituality is very much intangible, whole-heartedly, we know, there is nothing intangible about unwavering faith.
Being in the music industry, I've had countless run-in's with the young rap mogul, Clifford Harris, Jr.. Better known as T.I., the King and to close friends and family, Tip, he's everything BUT an overnight celebrity as he's paid his dues for his success.
While I've worn my "producer hat" the majority of the times, I've been fortunate to be around Tip when the tape wasn't rolling and the mics weren't on. I'm proud to say, not only am I a fan of his music and creativity, I'm a fan of his strength, character and personality even more.
Tip is a very special individual; loyal, charming, intellectual, relatable and my favorite, he is fearless.
His spiritual favor has always been crystal clear to me. Undoubtedley, he is one of God's chosen FEW and because of this, Tip makes the impossible look like child's play. While the haters will look at his good fortune as "luck", the rest of us know, there's no such thing as luck when God's in charge, only an abundance of continuous blessings.
When Frank Ski and I were cleared to visit Tip during his house arrest period, it was clearly established, our visit had nothing to do with any kind of popularity contest or radio ratings. There were no hidden agenda's or undercover hopes of obtaining an exclusive interview.
Our visit was about friendship, nobility and genuine concern - because at the end of the day, when the industry labels come down, we're all just human. We all make mistakes and we're all trying to survive in a world that plays everything BUT fair.
As I flashed back to the many times Tip and I have brushed shoulders, I smile as I remember how he alone, can light an entire room with his energy and aura.
I flashed back to the swag-filled radio broadcasts, the energetic and fan-crazed in-store signings, the cool and confident in-studio interviews. I flashed back to the devastating week of Hurricane Katrina when we unselfishly gave a week of our time to volunteer and fundraise. Working long days on the set of ATL, the movie, even Tip gave the little free time he had to show his support and offer help.
I even remember what I sometimes wish I couldn't.
I remember the pain and anguish on Tip's face the day he was forced to say goodbye to another fallen soldier. This time the pain hit too close to home and he unexpectedly was saying goodbye to one of his best friends, Philant Johnson of Grand Hustle.
But this experience, would be different. I knew Tip and I would dance to a beat of a different drum. I didn't know how it would be different. I just knew, after going thru one of the most challenging years of his life, losing a friend and a child, Tip's core had to have changed. --
Its almost noon on a Thursday afternoon, in mid-November as Frank and I are flying down Atlanta's 75 south enroute to Tip's home. I'm behind the wheel of Frank's new black Jeep Wrangler, sitting high with the music turned low. Frank's on the phone discussing business while I'm navigating.
We slowly pull into an immaculate sub-division of million dollar estates before finding the champagne-colored home that belongs to the young and growing, Harris family.
Unlike your average family abode, Tip's castle is guarded by a steel-iron gate that selectively opens and closes for the "court-approved few".
Today, this includes Frank and myself.
Minutes later, we're granted access as the gates slowly open. From afar, I see the Federal Agent on duty who's closely monitoring everything. Earlier in the day, I had envisioned what the scene would be like and had envisioned a militant, stern guard on duty, who only knew Tip because of what the media had negatively reported, but I'm pleasantly surprised to see it's not the case.
On duty is a well-known, well respected officer known as "Rambo". Rambo greets Ski by first name and gives me a warm smile before being introduced.
"I'm glad its you out here," Frank says.
Rambo nods saying, "You know we gotta look out for him."
Meeting Rambo and receiving his warm first impression confirms how clueless the media really is.
I shake my head, remembering the countless news reporters who managed to paint this dark, depressed and very gloomy picture of Tip being confined to a lonely home that similiarly reflects a comparable gloom, but the reality was that of the contrary.
As the self-proclaimed, King emerges from his castle to greet us, his smile seems to camoflouge with the sun's bright rays as he says, "What up Ski, Hey Nina!!"
Although he's due for a haircut and he's still sporting his pajamas, I quickly forget all of his imperfections when he hypnotizes us with his sly, charming and boyish smile. His smile can warm your heart like the sun warms your skin. And like sunshine, it makes you feel so good from the inside-out.
After being welcomed into Tip & Tiny's home, I'm immediately taken in by the pictures displayed of their kids. Their adorable, youthful, magnetic and innocent grins bring the black and white family portrait to life with a rainbow of color.
Although considered "celebrity children", the Harris camp appears to be as normal as normal can be. The boys' resemblance to their father is unreal.
While no one but Tip appears to be home, the remnants of his rambunctious children are visually evident.
Tip laughs while apologizing for the crumbs on the living room table, "These kids... they make messes faster than we can clean em". He appears to be in his "Daddy" element as he quickly sponges the crumbs away.
Frank and I laugh, telling Tip, we know exactly how he feels. Having small children ourselves, we know a clean house requires constant effort!
We don't overtalk the intricate details of Tip's case, but just enough to feel confident that his legal team is working feverishly to clean up the mess that occured back in late October. Like Tip's cleaning, I remain confident that his legal team will sponge the real-life nightmare, like Tip did the crumbs.
Naturally, the conversation turns to music as Tip excitedly tells us he's been keeping busy recording in his in-home studio. He soon leads us down a flight of stairs to the lab of creativity so we can hear what the young musical scientist has been cooking up.
We walk into Tip's studio, which appears to be a medium-sized, simple room. Its filled with all the latest technical equipment and is dull in color with the exception of the lime green lights on the display screens. The blinking lights actually "look" anxious to go to work.
After settling into my seat, my eyes are drawn to two things I wasn't expecting to see.
Lying near the gray boards is a red bible and a white prayer book.
Seeing the books confirm --Tip's been gettin' it in with God, and he's incorporated God's words into his own work of art. I anxiously anticipate how.
As Tip plays the first track, my head instinctively begins to nod as I embrace the beat. The volume in the studio is so high, my seat vibrates to the beat as well.
Musically, Tip's every word is so meticulously matched with a complimentary beat. The beat transforms each word over instrumental sound into a poetic flow of lyrical emotion.
I listen intensely, as Tip continues to play a variety of tracks. I hear Tip's raw and honest emotions in his music. In one track, he recalls the particular day when the rug got pulled from beneath his feet.
Mentally fading out the beat, I focus on his lyrical content and hear Tip's disappointment in people who lost confidence in him. You hear Tip's sadness as he reflects on the tragedy in Cincinnati. You hear Tip's anger and guilt as he blames himself for not being able to prevent Philant's untimely death. Tip's most inter-personal thoughts are suddenly brought to life as you hear a young man come to the realization, that this particular incident may have been God's way of slowing him down. Taking responsibility for his personal procrastination, Tip musically admits to knowing he needed to slow down to spend more time with Tiny and the kids and now he has all the time in the world to give to his immediate family.
Catchy as it may be, this melodic story with such southern swag is very different from the norm. This troubling story isn't an exert taken from his first album when he was a young, street-smart and talented kid who proudly repped his Bankhead stomping grounds.
And this time, it isn't the story that optimistically forecasts a promising future with the most beautiful women, lavish material things and the world's most exotic vacation destinations.
It's clearly heard in every bar, Tip is no longer the musically inexperienced dope boy we met on the "Trap Muzik" album that lacked the culture and class of a world traveler.
And its no longer the sharp-edged, always confident, yet still developing voice we heard on the "I'm Serious" album.
And it wasn't even the mature, smooth, and financially blessed voice we heard on the "King" album or the personality-battling, street cred boasting voice we heard on the "T.I. vs. Tip" album.
This sound is so different. Unlike past tracks, you don't instantly picture the same sweet baby face and mischievous smile that made it impossible not to fall in love with, nor do you hear the somewhat braggadocios arrogance of a survivor, who so proudly beat the odds.
This story is different and this story is very much the present.
This story is very much his reality.
It's the description of Tip's life since the BET Hip Hop Awards which continues to make front page news from coast-to-coast.
Once again, the young star has managed to get the entire world talking, but this time; it's quite controversial and constantly being debated by so many different cultural, social and economic circles. While being damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, the world seems to not care that he admits he made a mistake and is dealing with the severity and repurcussion of his actions, like any real man would.
With this go round, you hear uncensored humility and maturity. You hear him recognize his own flaws and you hear a proud, highly favored, musically talented artist, father, boss and spouse.
With this go round, you hear a black man that has recently been put under society's microscope and scrutiny.... again.
You hear an array of interpersonal emotions, in which some are parallel to what the media reports, and others are subtle, in which only the closest crew members and family would understand, but what you don't hear is fear.
Not once, not ever.
Not in the beginning, end or anywhere in between.
Not in the intro or the outro.
Not subliminally or masked by any clever metaphors. Fear isn't factored in these creative lyrics of life.... Not anywhere at all. Tip was built fearless from the inception. While the rest of the world would crumble at just the thought, Tip handles his troubles with grace and God-like strength. I'm simply in awe.
Tip stops each track and modestly says, "There's still work that needs to be done" as he searches for another track to play without looking up. His quick mouse-clicking on the Apple computer is innate and instinctive.
As soon as the music stops, we tell Tip our thoughts before the next one begins, "That's hot, Tip... I'm feeling it!" I say, still moving to the beat that continues to play in my mind.
As he humbly accepts the compliments, his sly smile re-appears but his eyes don't lose focus. He continues to click away, as he earnestly listens as Frank offers production advice here and there and new ideas for unbirthed tracks waiting to come to life.
I sit back watching the chemistry erupt between Frank Ski and T.I.
While the age difference is separated by a gap greater than 10 years, and their demographics vary from the bottom of the map, to the top, the common denominator has no differences. They both share a passion for music, and a love for the hip hop culture that has brought them each international success beyond belief.
The transition from music brings us to an intricate discussion on business. Watching Ski and Tip converse reminds me of a tennis match as they both take turns commenting on the other person's viewpoints; they both have so much to say. As one gives their opinion, the other nods and takes mental notes of what is being said. They don't skip a beat as they exchange personal knowledge, individual experiences and insight.
With the utmost hospitality, Tip offers us drinks for the 2nd and 3rd time as Tiny walks in and greets us all with hugs.
Before leaving, Tiny stands behind Tip and rests her hand on his shoulder as her eyes fall on the illuminated computer screen.
In a silent way, her body language speaks as loud as Tip's music does. Her body language reassures her man, she's there and has his back. The love they share is evident.
Remembering the in-studio interview from July when Ski asked Tip about their bond, its clear to see why they've survived. Tiny is loyal and would never leave his side - no matter what...
And in the dog eat dog world that Tip was born into, the loyalty and security Tiny's love provides, is all a man needs at the end of the day. This is the epitome of a "ride or die" love.
After listening to countless tracks, the three of us walk outside, behind the house so Tip can show Frank his boats and the lake. Their conversation takes on a whole new personality as nature-loving Frank Ski, tells young Tip about his fishing trips in other countries where beautiful women and mouth-watering food is on every corner from sun up to sun down.
As we gaze at the beauty of the 550 acre lake, Tip recalls summers on the speed boat with family and friends, and the inevitable fun that came packaged with hot Georgia summers. Admitting he needs to start utilizing his blessed surroundings and possessions he's worked so hard for, he promises to re-live the good times as soon as the weather allows it.
As we walk back into the house, Frank tells Tip he's got to come to Australia with us and Tip says, "Cool! As soon as I shake this, I'm there!"
Frank's response immediately follows, "Awwww man, you gone shake it real soon, we're claiming that one and speaking it into existence!"
"That's right, that's right..." Tip agrees.
Losing track of time, Frank and I finally leave Tip with a feeling of satisfaction. While Tip has sounded like he's been in good spirits via phone and email, seeing him reinforces what a strong individual Clifford Harris, Jr truly is.
Quietly exiting Tip's subdivision of immaculate homes, Frank and I are both quiet as we reflect on the intimate visit with our friend, and our individual lives as well.
Its back to the real world for Frank & me.
Back to a world that's always rushing, always waiting for you to fail and always doubtful.
Its unfortunate, but very much the reality of our society. This is the world we live in.
I wish I could tell every hater, every person in doubt and every person waiting for Tip to fail... not to waste their time. Instead, I tell the doubters who boldly cross my path.
Ski and I know, Tip is too favored by God to lose at the game of life!
I quietly say to Frank, "He's such a good dude, such a good dude."
"Yeah, he really is." Frank adds, "I have a new respect for Tip and what he's going thru, I know it's got to be hard. He is a good dude."
Whether or not you share our sentiments, or respect the man Tip has grown to be, he isn't waiting for your approval or love.
This Atlanta-born soldier is busy fighting one of the hardest battles of his 27 years of life. His focus is straight ahead on the future, and not the mistakes of his past.
Tip is one of God's chosen few.
Not long ago, I realized God has what I call, "The Chosen Few". While God blesses all of His children, there are a handful of people in the world, God put on Earth as His missionaries to complete a specific purpose that He designed.
Tip isn't afraid to admit, he made a mistake.
He also knows, God works in such mysterious ways and even in the most challenging, secular circumstances, heavenly blessings still arise in the most unannounced chaos... because that's simply how God works.
God didn't put the spirit of fear, in T.I. and even when the world continues to doubt, he remains true to himself and holds tight to his strong faith.
And like all challenging circumstances in life... We know, this too shall pass.
Before going to bed, I received an email from Tip expressing his appreciation for our visit.
It was short and simple but genuine and sincere.
In reply to his message, I wrote:
Tip-
Thank you for allowing us to visit. I have always respected you from a far... Outside of the glitz and glam, I've seen a very humble, very consistent, very intelligent dude who can charm the ladies, converse w/ the socialites, stay real w/ the streets, keep up with the politics and inspire the kids.
From Frank and I being at Philant's funeral to remembering how hands on you were during the Katrina drive, I can only speak from my personal experiences with you, and they have always been impressive.
You are highly favored by God and it's clear to see why he has cleared your path to success and why He has blessed you with the tangibles and intangibles - you continue to pay ur blessings forward and that is what builds character.
U know, character is a funny thing... Many people put personality and character in the same category, but a few months back, Frank taught me the difference between the two.
Personality is what you want the world to see and it's what can be faked to convince people you are one way or another...
However, character is what can not be faked. It's the decisions you make when no one is looking... It's the good you do even when u don't get the kudo's or a pat on the back.
Character may not score you any points in the white man's world, but trust, you score points w/ God... And the points in God's score book add up, especially when dealing w/ situations like the one ur going thru...
Ur good work counts with God and He is your ultimate judge... Trust!
One more thing, and then I'll end my mini-book... Smile
Listening to your music today was very cool. Maybe I'm biased because musically, I think you can do no wrong (hahaha), but what a privilege it was to hear your innermost thoughts...
Ur music is deep, Tip, especially the first 3 tracks regarding the situation.
More importantly, I respect you tons for your strength.
I have been blessed to finally understand what it means to be fearless... It took all of my 27 years, but w/ the help of a good friend and Bishop Eddie Long, I finally got it.
See, it was Bishop that said, "God didn't put the spirit of fear in us" and after hearing that from Bishop countless times, then again from my good friend Bobby w/ 8732, who lost both his parents and closest sibling, I learned, when God says its ur time to go, come into success, slow down or change clothes, its your time.
Divine order can't be intervened, so why be fearful of what is supposed to happen next?
When u trust God, ur faith carries you thru the unknown. I pray you continue to be the fearless man I've known and I want you to know, in my heart, I, 110% believe this too shall pass very soon and when its all said and done, many, many people will owe you an apology for being doubtful.
Haters are inevitable and when u realize that even Jesus had haters, it makes you think, to be great like Jesus, haters MUST be apart of the package deal...
I noticed ur bible and book of prayers in ur studio today... Continue to pray, Tip and please believe, we will too!
Lots of respect, lots of love!
Nina
*Since then, Tip and I have kept in touch and he's looked out on a few favors I've called in! The Grand Hustle family that Tip is so committed to is an incredible group of people! Everyone from Sheena, his assistant to Jason Geter, Co-CEO, they all have hearts of gold! God is going to continue to bless Tip and his family and I can't wait to watch from the sidelines! I will always be a fan and a super-loud cheerleader! If you don't know him personally, trust me when I say, he is an AMAZING individual, from the inside-out and his life will continue to be blessed... Remember, it's not luck when God's in charge - only an abundant amount of continued blessings!
As part of Tip's community service, I asked him to speak at an engagement I had committed to. Tip obliged and spoke to 350 Clayton County High School Students who had no idea he was coming! Talk about a surprise! His talk was amazing - discussing school, gangs, respect, choices, work ethic, real life and more... He keeps it 100 and the kids relate and respect!
"When a young girl falls in love with her Daddy first, no other man in the world could ever break her heart, because her heart will always belong to Daddy"
As a child, I remember thinking Daddy could do no wrong.
No one was stronger or smarter than my Daddy.
If I had a problem, Daddy could fix it. If I was stuck, Daddy could rescue me. If I was lost, Daddy could guide me – In my world, he was the answer to everything and if Daddy couldn't fix it, it couldn't be fixed - it was that simple.
As an adult, I now realize how instrumental his love has been. When a young girl falls in love with her Daddy first, no other man in the world could ever break her heart, because her heart will always belong to her Daddy - he has already shown her what real, unconditional love feels like. While a Daddy's girl will still endure pain as she learns the lessons of love and life, her foundation built by her Daddy is unbreakable no matter how hard the lessons in life prove to be.
I've always known I was his princess and his heart belonged to me, but now I truly realize, I am who I am because of my Daddy's love – and I am so grateful for that.
I'm grateful for early mornings at age 5 and wanting to wear my cowboy boots just because Daddy had his cowboy boots on.
I'm grateful for the Daddy who couldn't really do hair, but tried anyway... Eventually I got used to the "fuzzy-look".
I'm grateful for the Daddy who pulled teeth out with dental floss tied to the door. You taught me bravery, and I'm grateful for that.
I'm grateful for the Daddy with South Carolina roots and southern traditions. I still believe the best men are raised in the South, just like my Daddy!
I'm grateful for the Daddy who made surprise appearances in 3rd grade, sat Indian-style on the floor and sang the cookie jar song. You taught me how important it is to have presence.
I'm grateful for the Daddy who didn't believe in the name brands, instead settled for the bare necessities in life, which taught me to truly appreciate Gucci and Louis, but also taught me to never let my character be based on materialistic things.
I'm grateful for the Daddy who believed in camping trips, weekend trips to Monterrey Bay and Marine World USA on hot summer days.
I'm grateful for all the times I would fall asleep before we'd make it home, just so you would carry me to bed and tuck me in. Even when you knew I was faking it, you still played along.
I'm grateful for the bumpy truck rides in the big rigs because it never mattered how dirty I was at the end of the day, I was with my Daddy.
I'm grateful for discipline and punishments, now I understand why.
I'm grateful for Christmas tree hunting, summer bike rides, morning breakfasts as a family and you always knowing to put the most cheese in my grits.
I'm grateful for hearing you sing, "I just called to say I love you," at age 23... Suddenly, the 3,000 miles between us are non-existent.
I'm grateful for the times I would call your name in the grocery store, only for you to say, "I'm not your Dad, Little Girl". Giggling, I would always say, "But Daddddddy!"
I'm grateful that you always gave in at the grocery store and us girls realizing, we could stick just about anything in the buggy and Daddy would buy it.
I'm grateful for the Hamburger Helper and lima bean dinners, pork chops and macaroni cheese, and sitting on the kitchen countertops reading out loud while you cooked.
I'm grateful for the times I would lay my head in your lap and you'd clean my ears and put me to sleep.
I'm grateful for all of the "on-the-road" phone calls home when you'd ask, "Who's my girl?" and smiling ear-to-ear, I'd always have your answer... Me!
I'm grateful for the countless, countless times I heard you say, "I Love You". I watched you be "tough" with the world, but ever so affectionate with me.
I'm grateful for summer afternoons and Whitney's record playing loudly in the living room.
I'm grateful for the times you would come serenade me, swearing up and down you were the missing member of the Gap band!
I'm grateful that at age 7, I believed you were that missing member!
I'm grateful you taught me humility and work ethic.
I'm grateful for the man you've become and I am grateful to be just like you.
I love you for your incredible strength.
In your 20's you decided you wouldn't let society tell you what type of man you would be. Against all odds, you proved the world wrong and raised not one, but two children on your own.
I finally understand the sacrifice, dedication and commitment you made for so many years.
Now with my own child, I am overjoyed to be able to watch you fall in love all of over again, this time though, the roles have changed, I'm Mommy and you are the ever-so-popular & most adored "Papa".
I'm thankful, grateful and amazed that God chose you to be my Daddy. I am blessed to have witnessed how a real man takes care of his household financially, physically and emotionally - but not only did you set an incredible example of the type of man who deserves my love, you also showed me how to be strong and how to survive in a world that won't always play fair.
Because of you, I know what a GOOD man is and wouldn't settle for anything less for myself.
Thank you for your guidance, your dedication, your strength and love; I am who I am because of you.
(Originally written in 2005 and edited through out the years. While I am no longer single, this blog is very personal to me because I do realize the challenges of finding a GOOD man)
If I had a dollar for every time I was asked, "Why don't you have a man?" I could easily put everyone's kid through college.
Working in Atlanta's "Black Hollywood" as a young, single female with morals, I face my own set of challenges. However, I never imagined dating would be so high on the list. I have come to realize, just because the industry glitters, doesn't mean its hardly golden! While I wouldn't trade my industry experiences for anything in the world, I will admit, it takes a new-age Nancy Drew to crack the millions of mysteries that come with this package deal.
When my dating scene went from bad to worse, I began to ask myself, why am I single??? As I experienced dating deal breaker after dating deal breaker (DDB), I began to keep record of them in my blackberry to see if I could get to the bottom of my own rhetorical questions.
In the beginning, I thought it was me. I constantly made excuses why my dating life was on a path of self-destruction. Had I become a bad man-magnet? I considered everything from where I lived (outside the city) to the extra 10lbs I gained, but once I moved downtown and lost 25lbs, things still didn't change!
I then asked myself, was it really me?
Now, I'm far from perfect, but I know what I want, and more importantly, I realize my value & know who I am. Furthermore, I have standards I'm not willing to lower or compromise. While I realize, I won't be every man's "perfect 10", I stand tall by my personal beliefs & spirituality and I refuse to cut corners and settle for wack plea bargains. Life's way too short to be complacent with convenience or settle for mediocrity.
I stopped asking myself, "Why am I single?" because the answers I was looking for were before me, and as clear as a cloudless day.
Let's begin...
I'm single because I have an amazing son who soaks up everything like a sponge, and I haven't met too many men who would leave an impression on him I would be proud of.
I'm single because I have a spirit of fearlessness and my man has to be just as fearless and understand that God didn't put the spirit of fear in any of us. A good man will encourage you to dream big because "impossible" isn't an option in his world.
I'm single because I have the job of my dreams and it consumes so much of my time.
I'm single because I'm stubborn. I refuse to lower my standards in the midst of this "DL epidemic".
I'm single because I have an obsession with swagger and I refuse to date a man who lacks it. Swag is simply the ability to communicate self-confidence verbally and non-verbally. If you can't do that, I can't do you!
I'm single because my vision is incredibly big, and my man has to understand the movement, and have his own vision as well. A good man will compliment me, not complete me.
I'm single because I was taught the difference between personality and character and I need a man with character. Your personality can change depending on what side of the bed you wake up on, your character won't change. Character is what you will do when no one is looking and when no one is keeping score. My integrity, humility and compassion define my character, what define yours?
I'm single because I'm quick witted and extremely driven. I refuse to date a "slow lane" dude. In fact, I prefer my man to drive at a faster speed than I do, so I'm challenged by his speed and inspired to "keep up".
I'm single because I will never allow a man to make me feel like I'm anything less than fabulous. Even when my skin isn't perfect, my waist line isn't the smallest and my booty isn't the biggest... I'm still absolutely and incredibly fabulous!
I'm single because I understand, what God has for me, is for me. There's no need to solicit applications and rush to fill the position, my business is always booming, with or without a man!
I'm single because I have an amazing Daddy who raised me well; because of him, I know what a stand up dude is. I expect my man to take care of his children, his woman and his household just as my Daddy did. There is no excuse.
I'm single because I work in a male dominated industry and most men can't handle the fact I'm around other powerful, popular and well-connected men 24/7. In this entertainment industry, these men are simply my "co-workers", no need to feel threatened by the people I have to work with.
I'm single because I have more backbone than a lot of men and I don't always want to be the "driver". I like riding shotgun and watching my man do his thing behind the wheel. However, my man will never have to worry about my ability to drive, when he's too tired or unable, I'll be there to hold him down.
I'm single because my male mentors expose me to things most men can't, like fine dining and traveling to new places some only experience thru the Discovery Channel. I would NEVER expect a man to attempt to keep up with another, but it's a state of mind. I need my man to WANT to expose me to new things. Teach me something I don't already know; show me something I haven't already seen. If you can't physically or financially do that, be able to do it mentally, it does count.
I'm single because I have a zero tolerance for ignorance. Zero! I skate out on the first sign of ignorance without looking in my rear view. Ignorance is a character trait and almost impossible to change. Yep, sad but true, it is what it is.
I'm single because I expect my man to lead, and quite honestly, the majority of men these days have no idea where they're going... And I'm supposed to follow you???
I'm single because I will not sweat or stalk you, regardless of how gorgeous or successful you might be... I've got pride and a great life! I'm not afraid to walk without you because I came into this world walking solo with God. Happily, I'll go out the same way!
I'm single because I'm attracted to the hip hop culture and often times shy away from everything else. I should keep my options open, but I'm addicted to swagger. I swear, it's not my fault!!
I'm single because sometimes I'd rather sleep then be on the social scene. I wake up at 3 am, 5 days a week... You have to be something EXTRAORDINARY to make me sacrifice my R & R.
I'm single because I'd sometimes rather hang out with my fabulous girlfriend's then play the "get to know you" game with some new dude. My girlfriends mean guaranteed laughter and good times, can you guarantee that?
I'm single because I don't want to inherit your baby mama drama. My son's father is one of the most unselfish men I've ever met. I thank God I don't have parenting drama. Hmmm, now exactly why would I want yours?
I'm single because I was taught life is much like a theater and I'm the superstar on stage! I have the ability to determine who sees my performance and who is so privileged to sit in my VIP front row. My "front row" people won't let just any man sit next to them. My front row people have my best interest at heart and I trust them with my life!
I'm single because I refuse to play the sideline chick. I'm a good girl, if that doesn't make you want to make me number one, I keep it moving.
I'm single because I don't want to meet your kids on the second or third date, just because you date, doesn't mean your children do too... I need a man who understands how important it is to protect our easily influenced, overly exposed children.
I'm single because I think male groupies are the lowest form of man. I see the groupie in a lot of men before they see it in themselves. It ain't cool, Shawty...
I'm single because I realize some men want to be affiliated with my connections and reap the benefits of the many blessings I've received. If I were the same chick and working at the corner Shell station, you wouldn't be this pressed! Daddy didn't raise no dummy, Playa!
I'm single because the most important men in my life told me, I deserve the best... Now, am I wrong for wanting it?
I'm single because I will not tolerate being lied to. What an insult to my intelligence.
I'm single because I run at the first sight of a "red flag". I have an incurable syndrome called "quick-to-cut-him-off" and my intuitions have never let me down. Surprisingly, men suffer from insecurities and psycho behavior too. Funny, I coulda swore this was just a "girly thing"!!!
But most importantly, I'm single because I CHOOSE TO BE.
I've never been the type who had to have a boyfriend. Clearly, after all of these years and only two real relationships, I had to learn how to do me and enjoy the qualities God blessed me with. I stopped looking for validation from others when I experienced God's incredible favor.
Let me keep it real though, working in this industry has completely changed my views about relationships and dating, and undeniably, it's one of the most complicated things I've ever taken part in.
Listen, I'm not your "angry black woman". I will never categorize you or blame you for another man's shortcomings. I'm so far from desperate and humorlessly, I WISH I had the time to decode the many intricacies of being a gold digger or a groupie!
Oddly enough, because this industry is such an international small circle of people and because life moves at such a rapid speed, you begin to appreciate the days when you get to wear your watch because it simply compliments your outfit, and not because it serves as a constant reminder of how "time-managed" and "schedule-driven" your life has become.
And when meeting someone, you learn to appreciate when you finally make it past the first few layers of the getting to know you game, we call "social networking".
If you're lucky, you'll realize who your ride or die friends are, and you'll establish a circle of life lines you'd give your right arm for and vice versa. Being comfortable with who you are makes it easier to realize when a "D.W.P" (dude with potential) crosses your path.
No, it certainly doesn't mean you jump at every handsome face and charming voice, but you get to a point when you present "the real you" from the commencement because it's the only thing you've got left.
You go into newly formed "situations" with no expectations. Your only promise?? A few coffee shop pow-wow's, a couple of casual lunches or possibly even an early-dinner when it's convenient for both.
Without fail, the 1st few attempts at connecting don't go through. In the beginning, you play phone tag until the score is tied and the constant blackberry emails and texts messages always end with several smileys and "LOL's". Secretly, blackberry flirting can easily be the highlight of any long day!
If nothing else, your curiosity peaks and you begin to wonder if his talk is as bold as his type! You even ask yourself, is this just game or could God have possibly blessed someone with this much swag?
Sometimes it works, most times it DOESN'T... It's the inevitable law of numbers - yes, even the numbers are now officially against you!
You conveniently blame it on an intense work schedule, because it's the easy let down and the fool-proof fall back plan that's guaranteed like the 1st and 15th!
But let's keep it real, you ALWAYS make time for things you really want to pop off!
And please believe, when the right one comes along, the un-compromising, damn near impossible schedule will all of a sudden become the, "you just name the time and place, and I'll make it happen" schedule! Oh boy!
Magically, you make time you didn't even know you had and live life on the edge by rolling the dating dice like you were Vegas' Queen Bee!
Humorously, I call this being, "futuristically optimistical" - meaning, it'll happen... just may not be today.
Yes, one day, it will pop off and be so genuine, so authentic and so meaningful.
Yes, one day, he'll be "THE ONE", and the greatest thing about it is, the confirmation will be innate!
Unlike this glitzy industry we have grown to love, "THE ONE" will be so perfectly timed and not the least bit complex.
But until that exclusive day...
Continue to enjoy life, pray for God's grace and learn from every mistake along the way.
Most importantly, please remember, being single isn't a curse!
It's a free pass to live life in the fast lane, question-free, baggage-free and FEARLESSLY!!!
And being single means you can pass go if you wanna and collect the $200 if you need to! And best of all, you don't even need a free pass to get out of jail, because it's YOUR world and the cell is never locked!
So, take a stroll down Park Place and continue on to the Boardwalk! Let your hair down and kick your shoes off... Enjoy this good life and the blessings that come with it!
And the next time a man asks you, "Why don't you have a man?"
Just smile and say, "Do you really have time to hear all the reasons why, or shall we just move on to a less cumbersome question?"
Behind the Scenes: I started writing this blog when I first jumped in the industry in 2005 and I've made several edits to my "list". Yes, I've added more things as I have experienced more of life, but I've also deleted a lot of things as I've realized, some things aren't as important as others.
It's funny, if you ever want to ruin your day, GOOGLE yourself! You will be amazed at how cruel perfect strangers can be. One day, very recently, I googled myself and saw this very blog on a public blog site and they RIPPED me a new one! While some people had nice things to say, most felt I didn't have the right to have a list because I wasn't anyone famous or I wasn't pretty enough! They even dogged my SMILE... Lmao! They called it "too toothy"! I shook my head in amazement... Out of all things they could have downplayed... My smile?? I mean, really... It ain't NEVER, EVER hurt anyone! haha! Anyway, my point is, the same reason they have their blog site was the same reason I was being critized... We all have an opinion and it's impossible to please everyone with it...
You know, I respect the people who are bold enough to ask me, "Who are YOU to have so many demands and what do YOU bring to the table?"
Well, let me answer that...
I'm Nina Brown and I'm God's Girl! God personally promised me, that if I aim to please Him, He will guarantee my happiness in life AND in love... I wake up everyday and try to live as Christ-like as possible and while I'm not perfect, my walk is my walk and God is always on my side to order my steps and pick me up when I fall. Everyday He whispers to me that I should shoot for the stars in everything I do, because HE'S got me... I'm His girl, and He gives me the world, day-after-day....
I'm proud to know I'm not like most chicks... But what makes me different isn't the handbag that I rock or the jeans I splurged on, it's the fact that I have an incredible vision and again, I am SO in love with God. My purpose in life is to help others overcome their fears and to give people inspiration to be the BEST they can be. I don't think I'm better than anyone, I just know I'm fearless and can do all things... And SO CAN YOU!!!
I'll leave you with this, then slide out...
I demand the world of others in my circle AND those I date, because I give the world of myself - mentally, emotionally, physically and best of all, spiritually!
Spiritual Favor: When Prince Jaylen met King James (as in LeBron!)
I have come to realize how awesome it is to have Spiritual Favor from God. God favors me and keeps me covered, this I know... However, on Monday, May 11th it was time for my 8 year old son to know about Spiritual Favor as well... This is my testimony.
***
I knew Jaylen would be excited to learn I got 4 tickets to the Hawks-Cavs Playoff Game 3 simply because Jaylen adored LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers. In fact, for the last 6 years, Jaylen has worn jersey #23 in baseball, basketball and football in honor of his favorite player. I remember last season in Basketball when Jaylen was handed jersey #11, he CRIED to his Dad and I, “Why can’t I be #23???? I don’t want #11!!!” I cheerfully reminded him he could be #11 in honor of my birth day, but the look he gave me told me, it didn’t make him feel any better about the situation. Ha! Yeah, that’s when I quieted down and let his Dad give him an answer that would make him feel better!
Hours before the game, on Monday, May 11th, I shifted things around in my bathroom, while my son relaxed comfortably on my bed watching what most 8 year old's weren’t, Sports Center! This wasn’t anything new in his two households… Jaylen had all the sports channels memorized and would watch college and pro football and basketball with his Dad or by himself for hours on end.
As Jaylen listened, I also listened, as the commentators gave their professional and personal insight of the 2009 Playoff standings. I watched as Jaylen processed their every word. From past sports conversations with his Dad and other sports fans alike, I knew Jaylen could regurgitate the info with the best of them! He knew players I had never heard of and understood the intricacies and fundamentals of the game that would easily confuse the average person. Yes indeed, his Dad has played a very instrumental role in his life as Coach on and off the fields and courts, and I've watched them bond over sports and sportsmanship since Jaylen was 3!!
Interrupting his program, I casually asked Jaylen, "Son, do you know what 'favor' is?"
Without hesitation, my 8yr old replied, "Yah, it's when you do something nice for someone else."
"Very good," I said, "Do you know what SPIRITUAL favor is?" This time, he didn't have a reply...
"Spiritual favor is something God gives you because you do what's right by Him. Good things happen to good people and when you don't lie, steal, cheat; God makes sure good things happen in your life. Mommy has lots of spiritual favor because of this. Have you been doing what's right by God, Son?"
Jaylen quickly replied, "Yes" then hesitated before saying, "Mom is something good going to happen to me tonight??"
I laughed, "I don't know Son, as long as you've been doing what's right, anything could happen... Anything is possible, anything in the world!"
Naturally, as a true LeBron fan, Jaylen said, "Oooh, I hope I get to meet LeBron James!"
I just smiled without replying… My son had no idea Mommy and one of my bestfriends, Shayla Cowan, already had it in the works… little did he know!!
Being at the game with my brother, my son and his Dad was a great feeling. While Kegan and I are no longer together, I cherish the moments when we can unite as parents to give my son everything he deserves, the best of us.
While I chanted, "Go Hawks, DEFENSE!" Jaylen counter-acted my efforts with a confident, "Goooo CAAAAVS, OFFENSE!!!!!" I just laughed and the people nearby just smiled at Jaylen's energy. An older gentleman enjoying the game with his adult daughter watched Jaylen in admiration, “He knows a lot about the game, that’s impressive.” I humbly accepted his compliment and gave credit to his father, “It’s a special sports bond he and his Dad share, I can’t take credit!”
And when the Hawks lost possession of the ball, my CHILD yelled, "That's right, you can do that with the Lakers, but you can't do that with the CAVS!!!!" I looked at him and thought, "OMG, I can't believe my child!!! This is sooooo embarrassing!” But what could I say; he knew his sport and could keep up like any grown man who had love for the game!
When a friend of mine who works for the Hawks surprised Jaylen with a backpack full of Hawks jerseys and a basketball, his eyes lit up with excitement!
"See Jaylen, THAT is what Mommy meant by spiritual favor!!! You are a lucky kid because Mommy didn't even know you were getting that! That was VERY nice of Mommy's friend, Will!" Jaylen continued to smile as he quickly pulled the ball out to play with it. (Ummmm, you already know the Hawks jersey's remained in the bag though... Ha!)
Throughout the game, I communicated back and forth with Shayla. With every message I received, Shayla's confidence was building... I whispered to Kegan, "I think it’s really going to happen..."
So, when the game ended and I got the message from Shayla to go to Section 113 where the players meet, I quickly rushed an unsuspecting Jaylen and his Dad to the area and handed Jaylen a sharpie and told him to wait patiently.
"Mom, what are we waiting for?" he asked a million and two times, "Just be patient, son. Good things come to those who are patient!"
We eventually moved to the player’s locker room area and waited some more.
We watched Marvin Williams and Flip walk thru and several Cavs players... Still no LeBron, but Jaylen was ready...
He asked one more time, "Daddy, who are we waiting for?" and his Dad said, "Who would you like to see? Whoever that person is, just start thinking about that person and what you would say if you saw them. Think of something intelligent to say."
His eyes darted from one end of the hallway to the next, trying not to miss a thing. Every time a non-player would emerge from the locker room, he'd look up at his Dad and say, "Daddy, who's that?" Kegan just laughed, "He's a coach."
Finally, the King emerged and Jaylen's eyes grew big as he stood back watching LeBron greet friends in the hallway (see video 1 of LeBron) and then my Prince Jaylen stepped up to the throne to meet his favorite player, his idol, and as Jaylen would say, the greatest player of all time.
With all 4 feet and 4 inches, Jaylen poked his lil chest out and looked up at LeBron's statuesque frame and quietly asked the all-star to sign his jersey and take a picture.
Forgetting all about the "intelligent question", Jaylen confessed to LeBron, "You're my favorite player in the NBA" and LeBron chuckled and said, "I try, I try..." He asked for my son's name and shook Jaylen’s hand. Feeling a lil bit more comfortable, Jaylen went in for another favor (ha!), "Could you sign my ball too?" LeBron humbly obliged.
Leaving Phillips Arena, my son's excitement was written all over his little self (see video 2 of LeBron). By this time, the Arena was quiet and the electric wave of excitement was gone - the 20,000 fans had migrated and were homeward bound.
Walking in front of Jaylen and Kegan, I overheard Kegan say, "It's been a good day, huh?"
Jaylen smiled and said, "Yes! I thought I was only going to watch the game but I got to meet LeBron James and get his autograph, Dad!"
-- I don't think we were even out of the parking lot before Jaylen was lost somewhere in Dreamland... My child who usually falls asleep at 9pm, was filled with too much excitement to allow the "way past his bedtime" to get the best of him.
Watching him sleep, in his autographed jersey and his ink-covered ball beside him, I felt SO proud…
Proud that Jaylen and his father shared such a special bond which allowed Jaylen to develop his love for the game and the league's MVP.
Proud that my brother, Noah, had been with us to watch the game and experience his nephew's glory.
Proud that although Kegan and I didn't make it as a couple, we have continued to make it as Jaylen's parents for almost a decade!
Proud that I have friends who love me so much they would go out on a limb just to give my son an unforgettable moment.
Proud that I had the opportunity to give my son an important spiritual lesson about favor.
Proud that LeBron James has not only excelled at his craft, but has done an excellent job as a role model to our youth.
Proud that my son thinks his Mommy is capable of ANYTHING in the world.
Proud that a day after Mother's Day, I had the best "Motherly Experience" I could EVER ask for.
And lastly, proud that I have experienced God's Spiritual Favor so often, I can recognize it from a mile away... I'm thankful and tickled that God has chosen me and keeps me transparent to share my testimony so honestly with the world. I'm proud that God blessed me with the ability to paint pictures with words, and proud that I can I can bring words to LIFE.
I'm just proud, so proud to have the character, integrity and spirituality to continue to do what's right, in His eyes, so that my son, my seed, may reap the benefits of my work and prayerfully, do as his Dad and I have done in his years to come…
By understanding the difference between the hustle and the grind, you will maximize your potential for optimum success.
You often hear people say, “I’m hustlin’” or “I’m on my grind”, but do people really know the difference between the two? If you did, you would understand, you can’t or should never do one without the other.
What is a hustle? As a member of this over-glamorized organization called the “Entertainment Industry”, the hustle is the quick, creative things you do to outshine your competitors and survive the hard times. .
It’s the simple things like studying your craft when the competition is sleeping or doing your homework to know every detail about the key players and decision makers, so when opportunity knocks, you’re PREPARED to open the door. The hustle is going above & beyond the call of duty. When you’re given a start time, it’s arriving 15 minutes early so you’re not 1 minute late. The hustle also involves survival skills.
In my example, when I sacrificed everything to follow my radio dream and youth outreach passions, I gave up a $60k salary to make $7 an hour part-time, so when the well ran dry and I had exhausted all of my finances, the hustle involved applying at restaurants to be a server, because I knew it would be good money in a quick amount of time – and time was money.
It also involved creativity and developing key relationships with the real go-getter’s who could help my journey. I offered my time and services to Frank Ski, Greg Street, Block of Block Ent for FREE because I knew how valuable their endorsements and confidence in my ability would be down the line. In the end, it “paid” off because I have incredibly strong relationships with these 3 individuals. When these 3 people speak my name, they speak great things and because of their influence, it’s EVERYTHING.
What is the grind? Whereas a hustle is short-term, the grind is long-term. It’s what reveals real character and genuine dedication. It’s the longevity in you and that “never give up no matter how hard it gets” approach.
In my example, when I began my career as an unpaid intern, no one guaranteed me a part-time slot after 2 months, and no one promised me a full-time salary after 2 years, so when I set on this road to make it, I said I would give it my all until I made it - period.
There were a long list of uncertainties, but my faith outweighed my fear and I committed without question. This is the beauty of the grind; it’s the heart of a winner, the passion of survivor. You don’t give up because the door gets slammed in your face and you don’t quit because 10 people told you, ‘No’. The only thing 10 no’s mean, is that you need to go knock on 100 more doors to get 1 yes.
When you consider the industry’s most successful people like Puff, Jay-Z, Will Smith, Beyonce and such, you must consider their path prior to the glory.
What do all of these people have in common? We see the glory, but few know the story. These individuals share an uncommon commitment to a long process I call the ‘grind’. Look where they are now… multi-millionaires living out their dream, and getting paid to do things they would be doing for free. But when the Record Execs told Jay-Z and Puff they weren’t good enough, did they give up? No, they continued forward until that one person gave them the ‘yes’ that opened the door to a whole new world.
What’s my secret to success, many people ask? Well, besides having an unwavering amount of faith in God, I quickly understood I had to be CREATIVE with my HUSTLE and COMMITTED to the GRIND… And the result is being blessed with success, as I define it.
Part II: The Miseducation of SUCCESS
So often, we watch an over consumed, quite materialistic and superficial societies define success as the amount of money and things they have acquired. For the majority of my life, I believed the hype and even anticipated my slice of this “Success Pie” I saw being passed around. At one point, I could even taste the sweetness and also knew I would be worthy of having second’s.
But as I came into my spirituality, got saved, and further developed my relationship with Christ, I realized, success had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with any of these tangibles.
For me, success is everything intangible. It’s a peace within my heart and my mind. It’s a peace I didn’t find until I found God.
Once I fell in love with God, I gained a peace that reassured me of my purpose & outlined His favor. While I still am not making the money I deserve, still don’t have the car, home, shoes and handbags of my dreams, I have made it and I bask daily in my success because I have a peace within my heart. A peace that NO amount of money could ever buy.
I know who I am and I love that person, flaws and all. I have a healthy, intelligent and well-balanced child, who serves as my daily reminder of how good God is. I have friends and family who love me unconditionally and support me unreservedly. I have a job that I once dreamed about having and am praised by my peers and mentors frequently. I have an open and healthy mind that allows me to learn from others as I strive to constantly improve who I am and best of all; I have an incredible, awesome and most amazing personal relationship with God that serves as my inspiration to live each day with the utmost amount of character, integrity and honesty.
Yes, you better believe, God knows my name and calls it often. He reminds me how proud He is and continues to bless me and my loved ones for the choices I make day-to-day.
Do you know how amazing it is to be approved by God? I could care less about a credit card company’s approval or the approval of an employer, a man or so-called friend, because at the end of the day, none of these people will grant my access into the pearly gates of Heaven and reward me with Eternal life.
I seek His approval and have found it -- I am God’s Girl and this is my success.
Eternal Love, Nina Brown
(This note was inspired by 3 Facebook friends who coincidentally all asked me to elaborate on the Hustle&Grind concept within the same week. After I received the last person's request, I knew God was telling me to share this story... I finally took the time to paint the picture with my words, and this is the result. To those 3 individuals, THANK YOU for being my inspiration... Continue to be a blessing with your energy and words!)
The Testimony of Nina Brown: From Intern to Producer to being God's Girl
I am one of the few people who can say, I am fearlessly living my dream and loving my life.
My story is a simple one. Since an early age, I dreamed about working in radio and TV. After realizing, life was too short to settle for mediocrity, I decided it was time to chase my dreams. It wasn't easy getting here, but it's where God wanted me to be, so I survived the hard times and now I'm able to tell my story.
My testimony is what makes me special...
It begins in the Summer of 2003, I was driving down I-85 and heard a commercial on V-103 advertising the Connecticut School of Broadcasting and a light bulb instantly went off. I instantly knew CSB was the missing link I needed and I couldn't waste another day! I immediately enrolled at CSB and the grind became my reality. I was in school again, working 55 hours a week as a collections manager and the mother of a very rambunctious little boy who maintained a schedule like he was running corporations! Life was in full speed, and I loved every bit of it.
I completed the program at CSB and started my internship at V-103 in the sales department on Jan. 3rd, 2005. I quickly learned there was a MAJOR difference between "the grind" and "a hustle". Many people mistake the two or think they are one in the same, but they aren't. [If you haven't figured the difference, please read my blog titled, "The Grind, The Hustle & Success"]
At the time, I didn't understand how important it was to "plant my seed where I wanted to grow," I was just anxious to get my foot in the door. Interning in the sales department was another test of my patience & passion because all I did was sit in a quiet room and file tons of invoices. I remember thinking, I want to be where the action is, but I wouldn't dare complain, I had to pay my dues! I was determined to be the best at everything within my control, so at that point; I had to be the BEST damn paper-filer V-103 had ever seen! That was my philosophy from the beginning, be the best at everything and spread nothing but the most positive energy!
This philosophy worked because after I transferred to the promotions department, I got the offer to become a part-time employee after only 2 months of interning! I remember transitioning from corporate America to the radio broadcasting industry full time. At that point in my corporate career, I was making $60,000 a year, owned 4 homes, drove a decent SUV, and had secured the “American dream” but I still wasn't happy. In my heart, I knew, God didn't put me on Earth to collect bad debt and manage a collections agency. While I had obtained all of the tangible things that people work years for, by the time I was 23, I was still looking to fill a void in my life. It was at that point that I started to think about my life, spiritually.
I began planning for “tomorrow” instead of craving instant gratification.
The transition from Corporate America's feeling of Security to the "No Guarantee Entertainment Industry" was a scary one. It was scary because I felt like I was so close to breaking away from society's trap, but I was treading on unknown territory and worried if I was making the right decisions. No one understood what I was going through at that time, so many of the decisions made were made on my own, with little guidance from loved ones. While many people said, "You would be perfect in radio" the same people couldn't understand how I could throw away so much financial success as a department manager in corporate America to start all over again in pursuit of a dream. In one hand, I had crystal-clear vision, in the other; I had dreadful fear, lacked faith and couldn't see the step before me. Like it happened yesterday, I remember having to figure out what I was willing to sacrifice in order to fulfill my dreams. I had to simplify a very complicated time in my life by asking specific questions and only allowing 'yes or no' answers - I had to be absolutely sure I was ready for the ride that was ahead.
Was I willing to sacrifice a very comfortable salary that afforded me everything I desired in life for long term happiness?
Yes!
Was I willing to sacrifice time with loved ones for life fulfillment?
Yes!
Was I willing to trade in my 8 hours of sleep per night for 3 or 4 to make my dream my reality?
Yes!
Was I willing to sacrifice my flawless credit score of 750 for spiritual growth?
Yes!
Once I determined what sacrifices I was willing to make, I made the transition. When I walked away from my "comfort zone", I had no idea what was in store. I walked out on faith and set out on a path to win. I was so determined to make it, and was willing to sacrifice everything I had. Losing wasn't an option for me after giving up so much.
Let me be honest, I went from making $60,000 a year to LESS than $20,000. In less than a year after quitting my "good" job, my checking account was depleting rapidly, my savings account hit ZERO, my retirement account was completely withdrawn and my credit cards were maxed out. When I went thru the financial despair, I began having these crazy panic attacks. My financial worry would take over my entire thought process and I would be in tears at the very thought of it. I felt stress like I had never felt before. Until that point, I had never been late on a bill and never knew at it felt like to not have access to money for everyday expenses. Until that point, I was so proud of my 750 credit score. I was raised to believe that credit was EVERYTHING! I believed a 3-digit number could determine my happiness. I had become accustomed to hearing banks tell me, I was their dream applicant with such an impressive credit score, but now, that credit score was falling faster than rain in April. I contemplated giving up everytime I was reminded of my finances. I knew I could easily get another job in corporate America as soon as I was ready to wave the yellow flag.
My life did a complete 180 one Sunday as I sat in church and listened to the sermon Bishop Eddie Long preached to his New Birth congregation about "worry". Bishop said we hold on tight to our own problems, filled with worry, because we didn't trust God was capable of handling them for us. Bishop said, instead of trusting God like we are supposed to, we allow our worry to take over our faith, and as people, we're constantly trying to figure out solutions in the secular world when we should put our faith in the man above and watch Him fulfill His spiritual promises. I remember thinking, "Wow, Bishop is talking to me!" I thought, it's just that easy, all I have to do is release the worry, restore my faith and trust in God like I'm supposed to. Spiritually, I released the anxiety - my Father in Heaven would never put me in a position I couldn't handle.
The motto was: If I worry, I need not pray, but if I pray; I need not worry.
It was that very Sunday I let go of all of financial worry and re-applied the energy! I had to reflect on the time right before my transition when I asked myself what I was willing to sacrifice. I had to remind myself, my financial security and flawless credit were 2 things I decided to pledge for long term happiness, so now wasn't the time to act surprised that things were hitting rock bottom. Like so many, I had the spirit of fear in my heart. Once I made it thru this darkness, the weight of the world seemed to be lifted from my shoulders and I was starting to move at a quicker speed. All because I simply put my faith back in God and trusted Him totally. I let my faithful actions, speak louder than my convincing words and just like Bishop told me, God would handle the rest.
Things began moving so fast for me. As previously mentioned, I was hired part-time in the Promotions department after interning for only 2 months. Although I made it on payroll at the radio station, the money I was making couldn't even afford the gas to get to and from work. It was a known fact, in the industry, you literally have to start from the bottom in position AND pay and work your way up from there. I was officially at the bottom and the road to the top was going to be a long one. Ironically, you would never know I was at the "bottom" in position and pay because when you saw me, I was smiling like I ranked at the top. Ironically, I was making the least amount of money I had ever made, yet felt like I had more riches than Trump & Oprah, combined.
In my world, I was officially working in radio and that was enough to keep me going. More importantly, God kept showing me confirmations that I was on the right track. Doors that had huge, stubborn and impossible to remove dead bolts were opening effortlessly for me. It was an amazing sight to see. The doors that remained closed to others before me, had bright, fluorescent signs that read, "Nina Brown, come right in!" My vision was becoming more clear by the minute! God's favor became more and more evident and with each day, I was getting closer and closer to my ultimate goals.
People who knew my story would often ask, “Aren’t you frustrated with being at the bottom?” and "Aren't you tired of making no money?" and I would smile and simply say, “Nah, my blessings are coming… I’m just paying my dues." I tried to explain to people, up until that point, my life had been easy. It was the first time, God made me work for something I really wanted and I couldn't dare look for a shortcut or hand-out. God was putting me thru the "test" in order to give me my testimony. I was willing to invest as much time as I needed to reach the final destination because I knew, the final destination would be so amazing and so beautiful. I tried to explain to the doubters and the worried; God already chose me. God would remind me not to give up because what He had in store for me was something bigger than I could have ever imagined.
Some people understood my spiritual confirmations, most didn’t, but it didn't matter because I understood every bit of it! My God had never let me down and He would never bring this far and leave me. My God is an awesome God and His favor is incredible! While it may sound like I was strong during such a sacrificial time, I wasn't always so confident. I swear, there were days I would cry for hours on end because I didn't understand something technically or musically. There were PLENTY of days Frank would fuss at me for not understanding how to manage our show and it would put me in tears every time... I wore my emotions on my sleeve and it hurt to fail at something I wanted so badly. I can't recall how many break-down's I had DURING our show because I felt like a failure. I remember hearing from my superiors (like it happened yesterday) that I would NEVER be the producer of the Morning Show. It happened on a Saturday afternoon, I was working around the clock to prove to the world I was capable. Unannounced, our Director called me into his office and in the most non-chalant way told me, "You'll never be the producer, you don't have any experience and you don't know enough people. A producer must rely on contacts and you were just an intern, you don't know anyone... This is Atlanta, this is V103, this is the Morning Show and you're not ready. Besides, even Frank doesn't think you can do it." The words shattered my heart, crushed my spirit and the tears were on the verge of spilling over uncontrollably.
However, I refused to let him see me cry. Like a dam on the verge of breaking, I held the tears in with the last bit of strength within me. I felt completely defeated - there were no words in the world that could change his mind, so I left. I sat in our parking garage and cried for an hour. I remember writing Frank the longest email, just letting all of my feelings out.... then I cried for 3 more hours. Hours later, I received Frank's very honest AND compassionate reply. In his email, he wrote that he knew I would be one of the greatest producers... I just needed 5 more years. He said, after being in the game for 25 years, he needed a producer who could do it better than he could... and it wasn't my time. He said, my day was coming and he couldn't wait because one day, I'd be good enough to produce Oprah's show... now, just wasn't the time and radio just doesn't work like that. People invest years and years to get Morning Show positions, and especially the Producers level. Although Frank's email devastated me, I respected his sincerity, compassion and honesty. In hindsight, it was his email and the fact that no one believed I could go from intern to producer that would give me the fire to work 10 times harder to prove them wrong.
I couldn't even be mad at them for doubting me... I was new to the game. However, they didn't know, I am God's Girl and what God had for me, was for me... They couldn't see the favor God had on my life and they weren't around when God would assure me, I had it in the bag... No, they didn't know, God would make the impossible, possible in HALF the time. Every bit of drama and pain that happened in my life from my inception finally made sense. God had to take me through the hard times so I would appreciate the good times. God let me go through challenges so I would understand who was really in control of my destiny. I would not have been able to handle His tests of faith if I didn't have countless practice runs earlier in my life... Everything from my parent's divorce to the custody battles when I was a child to the feelings of insecurity and promiscuity as a teen and the feelings of incompletion as a young woman were some of the "practice runs" to prepare me for what I was currently going thru.
Finally, it all made sense. I became so appreciative of every challenge I had endured in life. I was thankful that God invested His time in me to get me ready for His awesome mission.
In 2006, God delivered on His promise; I was promoted to the producer of the #1 Morning Show on V-103, and given a salary. As producer of the Frank & Wanda Morning Show, I do whatever I have to do to make certain they sound flawless. Often times that entails lots of research, event planning, creative thinking, meeting after meeting, constantly on your toes to be bigger and better, non-stop hustling & networking, extremely early mornings, ridiculously late nights and world travel. However, nothing is beneath me! If I have to go get coffee, fetch breakfast or sweep floors so they feel comfortable when they're on the air, I will do just that! I feel so extremely blessed to be around countless years of wisdom & experience every day. To have Frank Ski, the original Doo Doo Brown and the man who has changed the game of urban radio, as MY mentor, MY friend and very much a part of MY family, was God's way of putting me in the very best position to excel and fulfill His purpose. I could not have asked for a better deal, once again, God gave me the BEST deal He had!
I’m not going to front; working in the entertainment industry has incredible perks! I never, ever imagined in my wildest dreams I would be able to say, I have chilled at Puffy's house on Star Island in Miami with Natalie Cole, Dallas Austin, Jay-Z, Pharrell, Andre Harrell and others for Puff's birthday, flew first class around the world to Beijing and Hong Kong to enjoy several days in another country, attend the 10 year Reasonable Doubt Anniversary Jay-Z concert in New York City via a private jet, communicate personally with Russell Simmons, Kevin Liles, Hype Williams and other moguls, ride in Bentley's with record label CEO's like Russell Block Spencer and have them consider me their baby sister and would do anything for me at the drop of a dime, and spend hours in T.I.'s home studio listening to music just written and not even released!! Seriously, I could have NEVER imagined this would be my reality, but it most certainly is and it's beyond incredible. But trust me; this isn't what makes my job amazing. Yes, believe it or not, there is something 20 times better than all of this!
My job and my life are so special because I have the power to influence our community and ultimately, change lives! Because I am "Nina Brown of the Frank & Wanda Morning Show," I am able to walk into any school, demand the attention of a class room full of teens, and they automatically listen because I happen to know every celebrity they’ve ever dreamed about meeting, speak their language, bop to the same music and have the concert tickets they spent the last 72 hours trying to win. So what do I do with this power?
I get on THEIR level, I LISTEN to what they have to say, I give them the RESPECT they deserve and tell them what they NEED to know about this funny game of life. I talk to them about the importance of staying focused in school, the importance of respecting their parents and teachers, the importance of not having sex too early, the importance of humility and integrity. I talk to them about the importance of having character. I tell them EVERY mistake I made as a teen and young adult and why it's so important for them to learn from my mistakes. I tell them, "don't be me, be better than me". I tell them the results of having a child early, I tell them the results of stealing and getting caught, I tell them the results of mistaking sex for validity. I tell them the HIV epidemic is real! I tell them the results of not going to college right after high school and the struggles of "hustling backwards". I tell young girls, if you feel like you have no one to talk to, talk to me. I tell young boys, you can be anything you want to be, regardless of what society has stereo-typed you to be. I tell other young people, don't be afraid to chase your dreams. I tell single mothers, your life is far from over just because you got pregnant young or because a man left you. I tell everyone, if I could do it as the "girl next door", SO CAN YOU! And this is why I love my job. Because I have the power to influence and inspire thousands and thousands of people. If I can change one person’s life and inspire them to be better and figure out what God's purpose for their life is, I have fulfilled my mission. This is how I show God, I'm grateful for His incredible favor! This is how I say THANK YOU for choosing me.
God promised me light in my darkest hour and He went beyond the call of duty to deliver His promise. I promise you, what I do isn’t rocket science. Trust me when I tell you, I am no smarter than the next and no prettier than the last. In fact, there may only be ONE thing I have over you... I am fearless! Let me say that again, I AM FEARLESS FROM THE INSIDE OUT!!! I am fearless because God did not put the spirit of fear in me! [2 Timothy 1:7] I wish I could say, I have always understood the depth of this scripture, but unfortunately, I cannot. I just recently understood how fear can trap you for a lifetime.
It was the fall of 2007, during an Inspirational Vitamin called, "It's Time," by Bishop Long when I heard the words of 2 Timothy 1:7. It took me FIVE times to "hear" Bishop's words. The first 4 times I was listening with my ears... It was the fifth time; I finally listened with my heart and heard EVERYTHING. "Wow," I thought, "God didn't put the spirit of fear in me. Simple as that... So, what am I afraid of? Why do I feel intimidated by others with more experience? Why do I fear failure? Why am I scared to let go of relationships that do not empower me? Why am I afraid of the unknown?"
I used to fear death and I used to fear time. I feared dying prematurely and leaving my son without a mother. I feared not having enough time in this world to leave my legacy. I also feared letting go of people who had become a staple in my life but always made me second guess my purpose in life. But between the three men who have changed my ENTIRE life and have truly made me better, Frank Ski, Bishop Eddie Long & Bobby Patterson of 8732 [aka BTown], I realized, God's plan is already set in stone. Divine order is just that, so divine. I am one of God's chosen few and when it's time for me to return home to Him, it's time. He doesn't make mistakes and this isn't the end, only the beginning. I am no longer be fearful of letting go of people because God designed me to walk alone physically because I walk with Him spiritually - meaning, I AM NEVER ALONE! Even when life presents the most difficult challenges, I embrace them and immediately begin to look for the hidden blessings because that's the spiritual formula, period. I remember when my Mom was in a bad car crash in December of 2007. As she lay in her hospital bed, barely able to speak, she told me via phone, "I know there is a blessing from God that will come out of this accident". Her words spoke to my heart... My Mom couldn't even walk and could barely talk, but she already knew God's blessings would surface shortly.
Because I have overcome the spirit of fear, I now fearlessly live my life like tomorrow isn't promised and fearlessly wake up each and every day and thank God for allowing me to be the best person I can be, TODAY. He gave me the most amazing tools to do His work with and I am so thankful!
God has given me the ability to paint pictures with words and a remarkable smile that can light up the darkest room. He has given me work ethic and built me tough enough to endure life's rocky roads. He has given me the most astounding mentor, Frank Ski, who allows me to run along side of him to learn by experience, but who will also stop me to make certain I never miss the big picture. He tells me when I've done well and when he's so proud, but he will also tell me what areas need work, so I can always strive to go from good to great to the very, very best. Frank loves me unconditionally and understands, I'm still learning the politics, so when I make mistakes, Frank charges them to my head, and never my heart. To be a "Ski Gul" means we ride or die no matter what. It means when one person eats, we all eat. It means we pull the trigger first and ask questions later. It means, first and foremost, we are family, so we never let the politics or the hate from misguided admirers come between us. Being a Ski Gul means today, tomorrow, forever.
God has given me the most amazing, incredibly generous and compassionate mother who has always believed I could do anything I set out to do and has supported me no matter what the dream was - if it was my dream, it was her dream and everyone needs a rock solid person in their corner. To receive her random emails that say, I am so proud of the woman you have become, makes me feel like I can take on the world. She is my biggest cheerleader and thinks I can do no wrong because of my spiritual favor.
God has given me an incredible Daddy, who has been a wonderful example of how a man should treat the women in his life and how a real Father takes full responsibility of his seeds. I have eternal memories as a child, of dancing in a sun-lit living room as my Daddy would sing to me as if he were the missing member of the Gap Band. I have eternal memories as an adult, of checking my voicemail and hearing Daddy singing, "I just called to say, I loooove you..." No matter how many times my Daddy and I bump heads; I will never deny the fact that he [Daddy] has given me my foundation & strength. I will forever be Daddy's little girl and the first girl who OWNED his heart. No matter how old I get or how many miles across country I move, I will always be his princess, who always wanted his last bite of food and would rather be up under him than playing outside with other kids. While I am Nina Brown to the world, I am Daddy's skinny, fuzzy-haired, little girl named Mainey.
God has given me my Ski Guls, JeNika & Fashy, who will hold my hand no matter how bad things get. My Ski Guls will give me the shoulder to cry on, the hug to make me feel secure and the push I need to continue on. My Ski Guls don't judge, they tell me how much I'm loved and they can make me laugh on any given day. When God gave me my Ski Guls, he also gave me two best friends and the two big sisters I never had and always needed. God has given me an AMAZING front row of people who know I am capable of lighting the world on fire. And when my little light gets dim or goes out, my friends re-light my fire and say, "Go get em, Nina B!" They don't waiver or ride the fence, they ride or die and pull triggers for me!
God has given me BTown (Bobby Patterson of Felix Meuon & 8732), who has shown me the true meaning of character, nobility, strength, love & discipline. To be spiritually connected to BTown assures me we have a life-long friendship. He honestly thinks I'm capable of taking over the world. Often times, I look at him like he's crazy, but he just shakes his head and says, "I'm telling you, Nina B, you're ready" When I do good, he adoringly calls me "Superstar" and gives me the thumbs up, and when I mess up, he reminds me that my blinding-bright future was too big to venture off track. He tells me to stay focused and blocks the haters so I can glide by. I remember the very day I fell in love with BTown's character. It was in July 24, 2007 and the first time in my entire life, I'd met someone whose heart knew no limits. I had never met a man who would give another person the shirt off his back or his last dollar without a worry of re-payment. BTown's is so genuine, so compassionate & sees the good in everyone. He is an amazing individual and also one of God's chosen few, who overcame the spirit of fear early in life. While Frank and Bishop Long talked about being fearless, it was BTown who showed me how to LIVE fearlessly, he was my example.
God has given me the most incredible child, who challenges me to be the best mommy I can be. To see Jaylen's smile, receive his random, yet inquisitive questions and hear his growth, verbally, is my physical proof that God's angels are behind the faces of our precious children. Even with his imperfections, Jaylen is the sight of absolute perfection. God gave me Jaylen at 19 years old because He knew only an Angel from the Heavens above would slow me down and get me away from the reckless lifestyle I had adopted during my adolescence.
God has given me the most unselfish man as Jaylen's father, Kegan. Kegan has supported every dream and aspiration since I was a naive 18 year old girl. Kegan's patience has allowed me to transition into the woman I am today. I put Kegan through hell and he continued to show me what unconditional love looked like when I had no idea what unconditional love was.
God has given me humility, vision and the strength to stay focused no matter how busy the devil gets. He has given me the spirit of fearlessness, transpearancy and love. He has given me the gift of LIFE with an abundance of faith... I give Him praise, glory and every bit of my love in return.
To everyone reading these very words, I hope I have been able to inspire you. I don't know how you ended up on my page and why you took the time to read this entire thing, but I trust God makes no mistakes and maybe it was destiny for you to be here right now. I would love to hear your story if I've been able to inspire you in any way. You can email me at [IamGodsGirl247@gmail.com]
Most importantly, I challenge you to fearlessly live your life and chase your dreams. When you realize, the clock doesn't tick on our time, it ticks on God's time, you will understand that it is NEVER too late to chase your dreams and claim your destiny. You have nothing to lose when you play on God's team, NOTHING at all.
Live your life for Him & you will gain the same peace I have gained... it's a beautiful thing, I promise you!
While you may be intrigued by the personality I exude across the radio airwaves, it's my character that I'm most proud of. My character is what defines me. I can truly say God has given me my peace. Once I fell in love with the mentality of fearlessness, I truly learned to trust God & His plan for my life. In true trust, I have no worries because He keeps me covered. My CREATION, my LIFE, my DESTINY & my LEGACY are all apart of HIS plan... I am God's Girl!
