BLOG: Visiting T.I.: Confined, yet Fearless// A Reflection of Life

Date: Early November 2007
Title: Visiting Tip: Confined, yet Fearless// A Reflection of Life

In life, God creates challenges to build our character, strengthen our core and test our faith.

During hard times, we instinctively ask "why?".

Why is God putting us thru such hard times and how long will it last?

In hard times, the weak become doubtful and their faith becomes transparent. However, the strong and faithful always survive because they know, hard times are only temporary. Its simply God's promise to us... as long as you believe.

It is very much our faith that ultimately gets us through life's toughest times. While our spirituality is very much intangible, whole-heartedly, we know, there is nothing intangible about unwavering faith.

Being in the music industry, I've had countless run-in's with the young rap mogul, Clifford Harris, Jr.. Better known as T.I., the King and to close friends and family, Tip, he's everything BUT an overnight celebrity as he's paid his dues for his success.

While I've worn my "producer hat" the majority of the times, I've been fortunate to be around Tip when the tape wasn't rolling and the mics weren't on. I'm proud to say, not only am I a fan of his music and creativity, I'm a fan of his strength, character and personality even more.

Tip is a very special individual; loyal, charming, intellectual, relatable and my favorite, he is fearless.

His spiritual favor has always been crystal clear to me. Undoubtedley, he is one of God's chosen FEW and because of this, Tip makes the impossible look like child's play. While the haters will look at his good fortune as "luck", the rest of us know, there's no such thing as luck when God's in charge, only an abundance of continuous blessings.

When Frank Ski and I were cleared to visit Tip during his house arrest period, it was clearly established, our visit had nothing to do with any kind of popularity contest or radio ratings. There were no hidden agenda's or undercover hopes of obtaining an exclusive interview.

Our visit was about friendship, nobility and genuine concern - because at the end of the day, when the industry labels come down, we're all just human. We all make mistakes and we're all trying to survive in a world that plays everything BUT fair.

As I flashed back to the many times Tip and I have brushed shoulders, I smile as I remember how he alone, can light an entire room with his energy and aura.

I flashed back to the swag-filled radio broadcasts, the energetic and fan-crazed in-store signings, the cool and confident in-studio interviews. I flashed back to the devastating week of Hurricane Katrina when we unselfishly gave a week of our time to volunteer and fundraise. Working long days on the set of ATL, the movie, even Tip gave the little free time he had to show his support and offer help.

I even remember what I sometimes wish I couldn't.

I remember the pain and anguish on Tip's face the day he was forced to say goodbye to another fallen soldier. This time the pain hit too close to home and he unexpectedly was saying goodbye to one of his best friends, Philant Johnson of Grand Hustle.

But this experience, would be different. I knew Tip and I would dance to a beat of a different drum. I didn't know how it would be different. I just knew, after going thru one of the most challenging years of his life, losing a friend and a child, Tip's core had to have changed.
--

Its almost noon on a Thursday afternoon, in mid-November as Frank and I are flying down Atlanta's 75 south enroute to Tip's home. I'm behind the wheel of Frank's new black Jeep Wrangler, sitting high with the music turned low. Frank's on the phone discussing business while I'm navigating.

We slowly pull into an immaculate sub-division of million dollar estates before finding the champagne-colored home that belongs to the young and growing, Harris family.

Unlike your average family abode, Tip's castle is guarded by a steel-iron gate that selectively opens and closes for the "court-approved few".

Today, this includes Frank and myself.

Minutes later, we're granted access as the gates slowly open. From afar, I see the Federal Agent on duty who's closely monitoring everything. Earlier in the day, I had envisioned what the scene would be like and had envisioned a militant, stern guard on duty, who only knew Tip because of what the media had negatively reported, but I'm pleasantly surprised to see it's not the case.

On duty is a well-known, well respected officer known as "Rambo". Rambo greets Ski by first name and gives me a warm smile before being introduced.

"I'm glad its you out here," Frank says.

Rambo nods saying, "You know we gotta look out for him."

Meeting Rambo and receiving his warm first impression confirms how clueless the media really is.

I shake my head, remembering the countless news reporters who managed to paint this dark, depressed and very gloomy picture of Tip being confined to a lonely home that similiarly reflects a comparable gloom, but the reality was that of the contrary.

As the self-proclaimed, King emerges from his castle to greet us, his smile seems to camoflouge with the sun's bright rays as he says, "What up Ski, Hey Nina!!"

Although he's due for a haircut and he's still sporting his pajamas, I quickly forget all of his imperfections when he hypnotizes us with his sly, charming and boyish smile. His smile can warm your heart like the sun warms your skin. And like sunshine, it makes you feel so good from the inside-out.

After being welcomed into Tip & Tiny's home, I'm immediately taken in by the pictures displayed of their kids. Their adorable, youthful, magnetic and innocent grins bring the black and white family portrait to life with a rainbow of color.

Although considered "celebrity children", the Harris camp appears to be as normal as normal can be. The boys' resemblance to their father is unreal.

While no one but Tip appears to be home, the remnants of his rambunctious children are visually evident.

Tip laughs while apologizing for the crumbs on the living room table, "These kids... they make messes faster than we can clean em". He appears to be in his "Daddy" element as he quickly sponges the crumbs away.

Frank and I laugh, telling Tip, we know exactly how he feels. Having small children ourselves, we know a clean house requires constant effort!

We don't overtalk the intricate details of Tip's case, but just enough to feel confident that his legal team is working feverishly to clean up the mess that occured back in late October. Like Tip's cleaning, I remain confident that his legal team will sponge the real-life nightmare, like Tip did the crumbs.

Naturally, the conversation turns to music as Tip excitedly tells us he's been keeping busy recording in his in-home studio. He soon leads us down a flight of stairs to the lab of creativity so we can hear what the young musical scientist has been cooking up.

We walk into Tip's studio, which appears to be a medium-sized, simple room. Its filled with all the latest technical equipment and is dull in color with the exception of the lime green lights on the display screens. The blinking lights actually "look" anxious to go to work.

After settling into my seat, my eyes are drawn to two things I wasn't expecting to see.

Lying near the gray boards is a red bible and a white prayer book.

Seeing the books confirm --Tip's been gettin' it in with God, and he's incorporated God's words into his own work of art. I anxiously anticipate how.

As Tip plays the first track, my head instinctively begins to nod as I embrace the beat. The volume in the studio is so high, my seat vibrates to the beat as well.

Musically, Tip's every word is so meticulously matched with a complimentary beat. The beat transforms each word over instrumental sound into a poetic flow of lyrical emotion.

I listen intensely, as Tip continues to play a variety of tracks. I hear Tip's raw and honest emotions in his music. In one track, he recalls the particular day when the rug got pulled from beneath his feet.

Mentally fading out the beat, I focus on his lyrical content and hear Tip's disappointment in people who lost confidence in him. You hear Tip's sadness as he reflects on the tragedy in Cincinnati. You hear Tip's anger and guilt as he blames himself for not being able to prevent Philant's untimely death. Tip's most inter-personal thoughts are suddenly brought to life as you hear a young man come to the realization, that this particular incident may have been God's way of slowing him down. Taking responsibility for his personal procrastination, Tip musically admits to knowing he needed to slow down to spend more time with Tiny and the kids and now he has all the time in the world to give to his immediate family.

Catchy as it may be, this melodic story with such southern swag is very different from the norm. This troubling story isn't an exert taken from his first album when he was a young, street-smart and talented kid who proudly repped his Bankhead stomping grounds.

And this time, it isn't the story that optimistically forecasts a promising future with the most beautiful women, lavish material things and the world's most exotic vacation destinations.

It's clearly heard in every bar, Tip is no longer the musically inexperienced dope boy we met on the "Trap Muzik" album that lacked the culture and class of a world traveler.

And its no longer the sharp-edged, always confident, yet still developing voice we heard on the "I'm Serious" album.

And it wasn't even the mature, smooth, and financially blessed voice we heard on the "King" album or the personality-battling, street cred boasting voice we heard on the "T.I. vs. Tip" album.

This sound is so different. Unlike past tracks, you don't instantly picture the same sweet baby face and mischievous smile that made it impossible not to fall in love with, nor do you hear the somewhat braggadocios arrogance of a survivor, who so proudly beat the odds.

This story is different and this story is very much the present.

This story is very much his reality.

It's the description of Tip's life since the BET Hip Hop Awards which continues to make front page news from coast-to-coast.

Once again, the young star has managed to get the entire world talking, but this time; it's quite controversial and constantly being debated by so many different cultural, social and economic circles. While being damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, the world seems to not care that he admits he made a mistake and is dealing with the severity and repurcussion of his actions, like any real man would.

With this go round, you hear uncensored humility and maturity. You hear him recognize his own flaws and you hear a proud, highly favored, musically talented artist, father, boss and spouse.

With this go round, you hear a black man that has recently been put under society's microscope and scrutiny.... again.

You hear an array of interpersonal emotions, in which some are parallel to what the media reports, and others are subtle, in which only the closest crew members and family would understand, but what you don't hear is fear.

Not once, not ever.

Not in the beginning, end or anywhere in between.

Not in the intro or the outro.

Not subliminally or masked by any clever metaphors. Fear isn't factored in these creative lyrics of life.... Not anywhere at all. Tip was built fearless from the inception. While the rest of the world would crumble at just the thought, Tip handles his troubles with grace and God-like strength. I'm simply in awe.

Tip stops each track and modestly says, "There's still work that needs to be done" as he searches for another track to play without looking up. His quick mouse-clicking on the Apple computer is innate and instinctive.

As soon as the music stops, we tell Tip our thoughts before the next one begins, "That's hot, Tip... I'm feeling it!" I say, still moving to the beat that continues to play in my mind.

As he humbly accepts the compliments, his sly smile re-appears but his eyes don't lose focus. He continues to click away, as he earnestly listens as Frank offers production advice here and there and new ideas for unbirthed tracks waiting to come to life.

I sit back watching the chemistry erupt between Frank Ski and T.I.

While the age difference is separated by a gap greater than 10 years, and their demographics vary from the bottom of the map, to the top, the common denominator has no differences. They both share a passion for music, and a love for the hip hop culture that has brought them each international success beyond belief.

The transition from music brings us to an intricate discussion on business. Watching Ski and Tip converse reminds me of a tennis match as they both take turns commenting on the other person's viewpoints; they both have so much to say. As one gives their opinion, the other nods and takes mental notes of what is being said. They don't skip a beat as they exchange personal knowledge, individual experiences and insight.

With the utmost hospitality, Tip offers us drinks for the 2nd and 3rd time as Tiny walks in and greets us all with hugs.

Before leaving, Tiny stands behind Tip and rests her hand on his shoulder as her eyes fall on the illuminated computer screen.

In a silent way, her body language speaks as loud as Tip's music does. Her body language reassures her man, she's there and has his back. The love they share is evident.

Remembering the in-studio interview from July when Ski asked Tip about their bond, its clear to see why they've survived. Tiny is loyal and would never leave his side - no matter what...

And in the dog eat dog world that Tip was born into, the loyalty and security Tiny's love provides, is all a man needs at the end of the day. This is the epitome of a "ride or die" love.

After listening to countless tracks, the three of us walk outside, behind the house so Tip can show Frank his boats and the lake. Their conversation takes on a whole new personality as nature-loving Frank Ski, tells young Tip about his fishing trips in other countries where beautiful women and mouth-watering food is on every corner from sun up to sun down.

As we gaze at the beauty of the 550 acre lake, Tip recalls summers on the speed boat with family and friends, and the inevitable fun that came packaged with hot Georgia summers. Admitting he needs to start utilizing his blessed surroundings and possessions he's worked so hard for, he promises to re-live the good times as soon as the weather allows it.

As we walk back into the house, Frank tells Tip he's got to come to Australia with us and Tip says, "Cool! As soon as I shake this, I'm there!"

Frank's response immediately follows, "Awwww man, you gone shake it real soon, we're claiming that one and speaking it into existence!"

"That's right, that's right..." Tip agrees.

Losing track of time, Frank and I finally leave Tip with a feeling of satisfaction. While Tip has sounded like he's been in good spirits via phone and email, seeing him reinforces what a strong individual Clifford Harris, Jr truly is.

Quietly exiting Tip's subdivision of immaculate homes, Frank and I are both quiet as we reflect on the intimate visit with our friend, and our individual lives as well.

Its back to the real world for Frank & me.

Back to a world that's always rushing, always waiting for you to fail and always doubtful.

Its unfortunate, but very much the reality of our society. This is the world we live in.

I wish I could tell every hater, every person in doubt and every person waiting for Tip to fail... not to waste their time. Instead, I tell the doubters who boldly cross my path.

Ski and I know, Tip is too favored by God to lose at the game of life!

I quietly say to Frank, "He's such a good dude, such a good dude."

"Yeah, he really is." Frank adds, "I have a new respect for Tip and what he's going thru, I know it's got to be hard. He is a good dude."

Whether or not you share our sentiments, or respect the man Tip has grown to be, he isn't waiting for your approval or love.

This Atlanta-born soldier is busy fighting one of the hardest battles of his 27 years of life. His focus is straight ahead on the future, and not the mistakes of his past.

Tip is one of God's chosen few.

Not long ago, I realized God has what I call, "The Chosen Few". While God blesses all of His children, there are a handful of people in the world, God put on Earth as His missionaries to complete a specific purpose that He designed.

Tip isn't afraid to admit, he made a mistake.

He also knows, God works in such mysterious ways and even in the most challenging, secular circumstances, heavenly blessings still arise in the most unannounced chaos... because that's simply how God works.

God didn't put the spirit of fear, in T.I. and even when the world continues to doubt, he remains true to himself and holds tight to his strong faith.

And like all challenging circumstances in life... We know, this too shall pass.

Before going to bed, I received an email from Tip expressing his appreciation for our visit.

It was short and simple but genuine and sincere.

In reply to his message, I wrote:

Tip-

Thank you for allowing us to visit. I have always respected you from a far... Outside of the glitz and glam, I've seen a very humble, very consistent, very intelligent dude who can charm the ladies, converse w/ the socialites, stay real w/ the streets, keep up with the politics and inspire the kids.

From Frank and I being at Philant's funeral to remembering how hands on you were during the Katrina drive, I can only speak from my personal experiences with you, and they have always been impressive.

You are highly favored by God and it's clear to see why he has cleared your path to success and why He has blessed you with the tangibles and intangibles - you continue to pay ur blessings forward and that is what builds character.

U know, character is a funny thing...
Many people put personality and character in the same category, but a few months back, Frank taught me the difference between the two.

Personality is what you want the world to see and it's what can be faked to convince people you are one way or another...

However, character is what can not be faked. It's the decisions you make when no one is looking... It's the good you do even when u don't get the kudo's or a pat on the back.

Character may not score you any points in the white man's world, but trust, you score points w/ God... And the points in God's score book add up, especially when dealing w/ situations like the one ur going thru...

Ur good work counts with God and He is your ultimate judge... Trust!

One more thing, and then I'll end my mini-book... Smile

Listening to your music today was very cool. Maybe I'm biased because musically, I think you can do no wrong (hahaha), but what a privilege it was to hear your innermost thoughts...

Ur music is deep, Tip, especially the first 3 tracks regarding the situation.

More importantly, I respect you tons for your strength.

I have been blessed to finally understand what it means to be fearless... It took all of my 27 years, but w/ the help of a good friend and Bishop Eddie Long, I finally got it.

See, it was Bishop that said, "God didn't put the spirit of fear in us" and after hearing that from Bishop countless times, then again from my good friend Bobby w/ 8732, who lost both his parents and closest sibling, I learned, when God says its ur time to go, come into success, slow down or change clothes, its your time.

Divine order can't be intervened, so why be fearful of what is supposed to happen next?

When u trust God, ur faith carries you thru the unknown. I pray you continue to be the fearless man I've known and I want you to know, in my heart, I, 110% believe this too shall pass very soon and when its all said and done, many, many people will owe you an apology for being doubtful.

Haters are inevitable and when u realize that even Jesus had haters, it makes you think, to be great like Jesus, haters MUST be apart of the package deal...

I noticed ur bible and book of prayers in ur studio today... Continue to pray, Tip and please believe, we will too!

Lots of respect, lots of love!

Nina

*Since then, Tip and I have kept in touch and he's looked out on a few favors I've called in! The Grand Hustle family that Tip is so committed to is an incredible group of people! Everyone from Sheena, his assistant to Jason Geter, Co-CEO, they all have hearts of gold! God is going to continue to bless Tip and his family and I can't wait to watch from the sidelines! I will always be a fan and a super-loud cheerleader! If you don't know him personally, trust me when I say, he is an AMAZING individual, from the inside-out and his life will continue to be blessed... Remember, it's not luck when God's in charge - only an abundant amount of continued blessings!



As part of Tip's community service, I asked him to speak at an engagement I had committed to. Tip obliged and spoke to 350 Clayton County High School Students who had no idea he was coming! Talk about a surprise! His talk was amazing - discussing school, gangs, respect, choices, work ethic, real life and more... He keeps it 100 and the kids relate and respect!